Dear Lupus, You are Weird. Sincerely, Flow.
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It was just about a week ago when I noticed that I was heading out and walking about relatively normally. It was two weeks ago when I last remember going out with my Mom. When she stopped at a particular store, I told her that I’d stay in the car because I hadn’t taken my pain meds and my ankle hurt. Now, I’ve been walking around pretty comfortably without the use of pain medication. Quite strange.
This is exactly what I’m talking about when I say that Lupus is unpredictable. Situations like this make me nervous about planning things way in advance. How do I know I’m gonna feel well enough to do something in 2 weeks? And what if I decide not to make those plans because I’m not sure how I’m going to feel….and then I end up feeling just fine?
That’s what sucks big time about Lupus. Just not knowing.
I feel the same way about MS. I have good days and bad, though I usually don’t say anything about the bad…unless it’s really bad. Not that I want something to be wrong every day of my life, but it’s hard to know how your day is gonna be until that day starts. Before getting out of bed every morning I do an eye test. When I get out of bed I’m never sure if I will be able to walk until I take those two first steps. Do my hands feel funny because I’m cold, or is it something else? Are my eyes aching because of an upcoming migraine, or is it something else? Playing the guessing game every day can be tough…When I planned my April trip to Vegas back in Feb I was SCARED! What if I’m too sick to go? What if I get sick while there? What if I can’t do the 5 hour drive to the Grand Canyon b/c I am suffering from Optic Neuritis and can’t see properly? Do I spend an extra $100 so I can get cancellation insurance…just in case? Do I pack emergency prednisone…just in case?