*le sigh*

I was just lying in bed watching TV when it hit me. I’m going back too school full time in a month and a half (actually less than that). I haven’t been in school AND workinig since….high school.

It’s likely that I’ll get an exemption from my marketing course. I just faxed my course exemption request to GBC today. But the point is, it has been YEARS since I have gone to school full time and worked at the same time.

Now, I must say this. I had lupus in high school. And my high school didn’t work on a semester format, it was on a term format. That means that you take your courses for the full year and not for half a year. So in grade 11, I was taking 9 courses at once (yep, that’s right…9). That included band. We had band practices after school twice a week. So I worked upwards of 30 hours a week, I went to band twice a week (ahem, I was the ‘concert mistress’ too), AND managed to pass (very successfully) all of my courses. For me, sometimes that deeling of knowing “I don’t have time to procrastinate. This is it” worked better for me. My school agenda was impecable. (Yes, I’ll admit, I had a picture of AJ from the backstreet boys posted to the front of my agenda. At the time, it motivated me to want to open my agenda and stay organized). I always knew when things were due. I knew when I worked. I was never late on anything. And, on top of the hours I already worked, I often worked MORE hours when I’d get that dreaded phone call asking if I could come to work because someone else called in sick. Wow.

Granted, I wasn’t on dialysis then. I didn’t stay up late often doing homework as that just wasn’t my style or desire, but I did do it sometimes. I don’t think I can do that this time around. Connecting myself to my dialysis machine is almost equivalent to popping a sleeping pill and playing soothing music. It makes me sleepy…and it makes me sleepy quickly. What if I have assignments to do and I’m just too tired? I know…I’ve spoken to my disability co-ordinator at GBC and I felt extremely reassured after doing so. But, it’s never been in my character to…I dunno, be that person who has to have ‘more time’ because I couldn’t hack it. I know there’s a difference between being sick or deathly tired versus slacking, but I guess I just need to get the “if you don’t finish, it’s either because you’re lazy or you have crummy planning” mentality out of my head.

It will take planning and it will take committment. But I’m very motivated and anxious to start school again. I’m anxious to start because I’m anxious to finish. I’m ready to move on in life. I’m ready to start my career. I’m ready to be a big girl. Scratch that. I’m not ready to be a ‘big girl’, but I am ready to have my degree, be ready for the working world, and start saving up for the important things in life…a place/condo, a vehicle (ahem…get your licence already, Flo) and just good savings that one should have in case of a rainy day.

We’ll see what happens. I’ll definitely have to schedule ‘blogging’ into my agenda as I know that as time passes i’ll somehow find less and less time to blog.

That shouldn’t be. I love to blog. It’s therapeutic. I also love the comments I get from people who read and identify with me. Believe it or not, it really keeps me motivated.



1 comment on “Time for My nonsensical ramblings

  1. Hi, I just noticed that you hope to go into HR. I can recommend a blog for you if you’re interested. It’s called HR wench at http://hrwench.blogspot.com/ At the very least, it’s fairly funny. But I do think she has a rather extensive background in HR. BTW, I added you tomy blogroll. I just wrote a post on < HREF="http://disabilityblogger.blogspot.com/2008/11/lupus-and-social-security-disability.html" REL="nofollow">disability benefits and lupus<> and I found your blog while looking to update my blogroll.


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