This one is a lot more…well…take a look.
This one is a lot more…well…take a look.
Most of today was spent at a funeral.
The funeral was for my friend’s father. My friend’s father and my father were also good friends, as was several other people in our community. In fact, my friend and I became friends because of the friendship between her parents and my parents.
My friend is only 1 year old than I am, and she has 2 younger brothers, perhaps only a couple of years younger than she is. When we were at the funeral, my friend and her two brothers each took time to speak about their father. It was so difficult to watch. I wiped tears from my eyes, especially when my friend got up to speak. She broke down several times during her speech. I selfishly thought of myself and how I would feel if my own father passed away.
While I may be 27 years old, I still feel like a little girl around my father. He still calls me “Baby”, the way he did since as far back as I can remember. I squeeze him tight as many times as I can…just to show him how much I love him. He is everything to our family…and he also means so much to others as well. The same with my mother. My mother and I are like side kicks…like best friends. I love hanging out with her, shopping with her, etc…just like I did when I was little. I am a little girl in a 27 year old’s body.
The hardest part was when my friend’s father was actually being lowered into the ground. The cries and yells of my friend’s mother were heart shattering. I stood behind my friend and held her in my arms and supported her as I could feel her knees getting weak. It’s almost finalized once that final lowering takes place.
I remember a few months ago I had a dream. It was a disturbing dream that left me in my bed, by myself, sobbing. I too dreamt that my father had passed away. Shockingly, he had passed away the very same way that my friend’s father had passed away – due to heart failure.
I told my father about my terrible dream, barely able to speak the words without breaking down. He told me that it was ok to be upset. He also told me that sometimes when we have dreams and see people doing things in that dream…it isn’t actually that person doing it…it’s someone else. So for example, even though my dream seemed to imply that my father had a heart attack, maybe it was actually someone else.
Another thing my father told me after I told him about my dream really stuck in my head. After much discussion, he said the following: Everyone wants to go to heaven…and yet everyone is afraid to die.
Life is so precious. You never know what the day will hold when you wake up in the morning. When you wake up, you have no idea that THIS will be the last time I’ll ever brush my teeth. THIS will be the last time I’ll brush my hair. THIS will be the last time I hug and kiss my loved ones.
If there is anybody out there who is reading this and is feuding with a loved one…please…really think about what you’re angry about and if it is really worth it. I live each day this way, which is why I hang out with my parents as much as I can. This is why I hug and kiss and squeeze my parents as much as I can. This is why I text/email/msn my sister, even when she’s only 3 doors away. This is why I text my brother just to say “what’s up.”
Love your loved ones. Don’t “coulda, shoulda woulda” when it’s too late.
Final marks are in…
And this is my GPA
aaaand my total GPA is above 3.5…so I’m on the Deans list again! hurray!
Yup, it’e been very hot around these here parts for the past few days. My house has the unfortunate flaw of not having a properly functioning air conditioning system. Well, the air con works just fine…but the way my house is built (the “guts” of the house, that is) doesn’t allow for proper flow of the air con, and therefore the whole house is hot. I have a fan on full blast pointing at me right now.
I’m so glad to be sitting here on a tuesday, in bed, at 10am, just relaxing. I haven’t seen a Tuesday outside of school in quite some time.
Marks for my summer semester are coming out today! I can’t wait. I hope I manage to squeeze out another Dean’s list showing this semester with a GPA of at least 3.5. I think I can do it….but we’ll see! I’ll post again when the marks go up.
Nobody could say anything to me when I was in grade 8 and younger. I was tough as nails. An admitted Daddy’s girl, yes, but still tough as nails.
I had my fair share of those petty school yard disputes that we have as youngsters that often have us running home to our mothers. Not me though. I was tough as nails. I remember getting into a fight with a boy. I was in grade 3 or 4. I can’t remember the exact situation, but I do remember he and I getting into a physical fight. I grabbed him by the collar and threw him to the ground. He got up, charged at me, and punched me in the face. I didn’t cry. I didn’t flinch. Before the fight could progress, teachers had already intervened. I was lucky to have dodged suspension. But, the point is, I was tough as nails.
My toughness faded away in November of 1996. I was forced to adopt a whole new type of toughness. I was never the same.
I went through so many things and I experienced so many things at that time. I cried often. I probably cried more during that time than I had in my entire life.
It was soon after that I realized how upset I’d get at things, or how easy it was for me to cry. I usually wouldn’t cry at something I saw on TV or in a movie. The first movie I remember crying at was The Lion King. Boy did I ever cry like a baby.
Today was a rough day for me at work. I was faced with a lot of difficult situations. 3 hours into my shift I was literally, LITERALLY on the brink of tears. At that point, I was like a canon, ready to explode if jolted in any way, shape, or form. I got up from my desk walked around for a bit. I spoke to one of my co-workers and team members named Leela. She cheered me up soo much. In fact, she cheered me up more than she probably realizes.
I was glad when I looked at the clock on my computer and realized that it was now the end of the day for me. I was so visibly shaken by my day that my mother realized it as soon as she saw me. My father realized it too…because he immediately drove us to the 7-eleven for slurpees. Slurpees cheer me up also.
There was a point in time where anyone could say pretty much anything to me and I would not flinch. Being emotional is good…it shows that you are human. But in a way, I wish I could find a happy medium between the two extremes. There isn’t a job out there where there are absolutely no bad days.
Or, if there is, let me know…
A huge weight has been lifted from my chest. Exams are over…and I couldn’t be happier!
My accounting test was today. Man oh man was it ever difficult. I made the Dean’s list last semester… I dunno about this semester! Well, I already know I got an A+ in my HR computer’s class. Grades are not due for teachers until Tuesday (after this weekend) but my computer teacher is so on the ball that he put them up already. I’m also expecting at LEAST an A in
Math and in Project Management. The two courses I’m scared about are Human Resources II and Accounting.
For accounting, I think that if I was more focused I could feel more confident about my final mark. I went into the test with an A-. The last test was so difficult for me. It was a multiple choice test and the first, like, 10 questions…I got “B”! Was he trying to trick us with that? Oh well. As for HR, I must say, I’ve been having problems with my prof for that class.
She’d show up to class late…and end class early. In all, we’d lost about an hour of class a day on average. She would ask super obscure questions on the test…questions that even the most seasoned HR professional working in that SPECIFIC FIELD (i.e. occupational health and safety) would have trouble answering. On my individual assignment that I handed in, she gave me an 11/15. I was definitely not content with that, so I went through the entire paper looking for her comments as to why I received the mark that I did. Nothing. No comments.
I questioned her. She pulled out a sheet of paper, apparently the marking scheme for my paper. She told me that I didn’t source this and that. I showed her where I did, in fact, source the exact thing that she accused me of not sourcing. Then she told me that I didn’t source my chart. I showed her my chart (all sources clearly in tact). “oh”. she said. Ok, well I’ll remark your paper.
The next week I went to class. I saw my paper on the table. I opened it up to see my new mark. Hmm, interesting. 11/15. I questioned her. She told me that she forgot why the paper was still there. She’d mark it again. The next week (the week before the exam). Still not marked. Also left unmarked was my quiz that I wrote 2 weeks before. I expressed my dissatisfaction with the situation. I was going into a final with NO idea of my marks. She told me that she had been busy marking other stuff. I told her that I was at a distinct disadvantage because of this. I write my tests in the test centre. I took her 6 weeks to finally pick it up from the test centre and mark it. She had various reasons for this. A few times she couldn’t even remember if she had picked it up or not. Another time she told me that she went to pick it up and it was closed. At 10am. (they’re definitely open from 8am-6pm). It has just been a stressful semester in her class.
I’m just hoping that I get at least a B in both classes. In order to write my CHRP (Certified Human Resources Professional) test, I need to have an average of 70% in my key HR classes (including Accounting), with one no mark lower than 65%. I’m definitely hoping for anything above a B in these classes as I do not want to have to take anything over again, nor do I want to get a C+ and feel stressed about ensuring that the rest of my key HR courses are up to snuff!
Oh well, what’s done is done and all I can do is wait until the marks are posted. Wish me luck..