I think it is a pretty well known fact that most of us with “kinky” hair also have very fragile hair. That is definitely the case for me. After much searching on the internet, I have come to the conclusion that I have type 4C hair.

I used to put a relaxer in my hair pre-Lupus, and for quite a while post Lupus as well. In the beginning, all I knew what I wanted a relaxer. I begged and begged my mom until she let me do it. She didn’t want me to have one as she knew how damaging they could be. But, I was in a new school in grade 7…and I guess she relented after my constant and endless nagging. I wish I had just trusted my Mother’s warnings…but then again, people often do not learn these things until they themselves have experienced it.

At that age, I had no idea how to take care of my hair. I did not know what products to use, I did not know how to wash my hair, etc. The way a person without kinky hair washes their hair is quite different than how I should wash my hair in that my hair is so fragile and needs to be treated as such.

I have been doing a lot of research on how I should take care of my hair. I had noticed that my hair would always break off at the ends and was weak and dry. I’m sure the fact that I have Lupus and am on several medications does not help the situation either! So I am going to try some stuff and hopefully grow a decent amount of hair in the meantime. I have my hair in braids right now, so I hope take a picture of my hair when it is out of the braids in order to serve as a starting picture.

Another one of my struggles where my hair is concerned is the fact that my hair is quite thin where my temples are. I have very thin baby hair there, but it just seems to stay that way. When I went to Florida with my family, my sister emailed me and told me about a segment she had seen on Dr. Oz, stating that using Lavender Oil on your hair may help it grow. After doing some internet research, there are many people who seem to agree with this theory. I purchased my very own bottle of lavender oil and mix it with olive oil every night. I concentrate only on my temples where the baby hair is, as I still have my hair in braids. I also put some of this mixture in an empty spray bottle and spray it between my braids.

Apparently hair is supposed to grow, on average, about 6 inches a year. Let’s see how my hair does with this new and careful regime…and maybe, inspite of all my meds and the fact that my hair is already predisposed to being dry, I can grow and retain some long hair!

Again, I will post updates along the way!

4 comments on “Fragile Black Hair

  1. I have a problem so similar. I got my first relaxer at around age 11. I was raised by a single father so he simply could not help me. My hair broke off until it was nearly gone. Then I decided that couldn't last so I started making sure to wrap it at night and not use excessive heat. I go to the salon to get it washed and they wash it, roll it and stick me under the dryer and then blow out the roots and curl the ends. Its a long process, especially when done every 2 weeks, but worth it. My hair has grown so much in the past year and a half since i started it. The biggest problem I have now are dry ends and a really dry scalp. I don't know what to do about those yet. I have never heard about the lavender oil, maybe I will look into it.


  2. Hello> When I was first diagnosed I suffered from severe hair loss. I allowed my perm to grow out while wearing wigs. I gave myself monthly protein treatments. I used Aphrogee and Cholesterol for the protein. I also deep condition my hair once a week. You can also try the hair care blog Curly Nikki for a lot of great tips. I hope this help.


  3. Thanks for the advice! I do check out curly nikki quite a bit. My hair is doing quite well now. My temples are still thin, but they are definitely coming back in! :))


  4. Anonymous

    I went natural years ago and it just “felt right”. I had a dream from the Lord one night that I got a relaxer and after the relaxer I go really,really sick. I should have heeded His warning to me. Several months later (as my hair was getting longer) I got discouraged with it because it was getting so hard to manage. In my frustration one day. . .I purchased a perm, put it in my hair, and found myself on that 2-3 month ritual again. I didn't even like the perm. . .but once you get one, you are on that cycle again. Shortly after. . .I became very, very ill and have been diagnosed with and autoimmune disease 😦 I know for a fact now that the Lord was warning me in advance what would happen if I go back to relaxers. He know things about these products that we are not privy to. He wants/loves us the way HE made us. He has given me grace day by day with this condition.. .I have since found out that autoimmune diseases among black women are disproportionately higher than any other races (check it out!!). . .Ladies, LEAVE PERMS ALONE!!! Please get that message. I wish I would have obeyed Him. DO NOT PERM YOUR HAIR-pass it on!! Don't take it from me, take it from the Lord. . .I wish I would have!! Be Blessed 🙂


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