Feeling Down and out

I took the winter semester off of school mostly in anticipation of a transplant. If I wasn't anticipating a transplant, I would have taken the semester off anyways. I am hoping that my dream HR job will come about at my place of work.

I got a bit of disappointing news the other day. I felt like I was on the right track where transplant is concerned. But I got a phone call from my transplant coordinator advising me that my hemoglobin dropped…again. Last month it was 106. Early January, 89. Now, 81. What the hell is wrong with my hemoglobin? Why does it keep doing this to me? Why can't it just stay up long enough to get this transplant done, and maybe the new kidney will help bring my hemoglobin up?

When is it gonna be my turn? When is it gonna be my turn to be free from the shackles that are dialysis??

I spoke to my brother and my transplant coordinator told him that I'm going to have to see some kidney specialists to see what the deal is. He told me that these appointments/arrangements are going to be mad ASAP. I'm not sure what ASAP means, but what I do know is that I need something positive to happen soon where this transplant is concerned. I'm tired. Tired of dialysis. Tired of setting up machines. Tired of recirculating if I have to go to the washroom in the middle of the night.

I guess I will have to wait and see what next week brings. I pray to God that it will bring good news.

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