Revisiting Dating with a Chronic Illness

When I was on dialysis, I wasn’t really confident enough to “put myself out there” and start dating. I’m not sure why, because I know lots of people who do it…but I just couldn’t. Just in recent weeks/months, I’ve gotten back into the swing of things. In the past few days, I’ve went out with two guys. Night and day. One was a punk, who I will not even talk about, and the other, who I met yesterday, was a perfect gentleman.

So yesterday, after spending time texting for a number of days(I met this gentleman online), he asked me if I wanted to meet. I felt a bit apprehensive, as I hadn’t texted with him that long, but I got a good vibe from him. He asked if I wanted to meet him for a drink, so I agreed.

We met and had a few drinks and chatted. He’s funny, a perfect gentleman, and “easy on the eyes”.  There were no awkward silences in our conversation which was great. The conversation was so great, that 2 beers and 1 coke later for me and 3 beers later for him, we had realized that we had been on that patio chatting, learning, and laughing for 3 hours. He told me about his old school Italian upbringing and the fact that he’s old  fashioned. I noticed that he opened the door for me, asked questions, and paid for drinks.

The days leading up to our meeting via texting was great too. Since giving him my number, he texts me every morning to say good morning and ask how I am, as well as in the late afternoon/evening to see how my day went. Very thoughtful.  I at first thought that he was perhaps a bit shy based on his texts, but when I met him, I realized that was not the case.  At the end of the night, he drove me home.  When we got to my place, he gave me a big hug. I could tell by looking at him that he wanted to kiss me, but he held himself back in keeping with his “gentlemanly-ness”. Haha.  He sent me a Good Morning text this morning as well.

He’s a nice guy and I’d like to see him again, but the thoughts of when and how to tell him I have Lupus, I had a kidney transplant, I have a fistula, I have a huge scar on my stomach, I had my hip replaced…bla bla bla.  I guess the major ones are Lupus and the kidney transplant, but eventually everything else will have to come out too if we decide to continue hanging out.

I guess I’ll just have to play it by ear. I do feel like it’s important to bring it up at some point soon. Clearly these different issues do not define me, but it’s also not something i’d want to hide…ya know?

I’ll update on the situation of me and him as time progresses, and if that doesn’t work out, my other dating escapades.. lol